Most of us think we’re good listeners. We nod at the right moments, make eye contact, and respond when someone finishes speaking. But the reality is that we’re often just waiting for our turn to talk back.
Real listening requires more than polite attention. It’s the foundation of high-trust teams where people collaborate genuinely, share ideas freely, and navigate conflict productively.
What Active Listening Actually Means
Active listening is a communication technique where you fully concentrate on, understand, respond to, and remember what someone is saying. This goes beyond hearing words. It involves engaging both verbally and non-verbally to ensure genuine understanding between you and the speaker.
The distinction matters in team environments. When people feel genuinely heard, they contribute more fully. They surface concerns before they become crises. They build on each other’s ideas instead of defending their own positions. They trust that disagreement won’t be dismissed, which allows teams to tackle difficult problems together.
This doesn’t happen by accident. It requires developing specific capabilities.
How Active Listening Shows Up in Teams
Consider a retrospective where a developer says, “I think we’re moving too fast on this feature.”
One response: You immediately explain the deadline pressures, the competitive landscape, why speed matters. Your arms cross slightly. You’re already forming your rebuttal before they finish.
Another response: You pause. You ask, “What makes you think we’re moving too fast?” You listen to their answer without planning your response. They mention technical complexity you hadn’t considered. You summarize: “So you’re worried that rushing this will create problems we’ll spend months fixing later.” They nod. Now you’re solving the problem together instead of defending positions.
The first response shuts down conversation. The second opens it up. The difference isn’t what you say, it’s how you listen.
High-trust teams have more of the second type of exchange. They’ve developed the capability to actually hear each other, especially when stakes are high and disagreement is present.
Three Tools to Build Your Listening Practice
Active listening isn’t a personality trait you’re born with. It’s a learnable skill. These three frameworks give you practical structure to improve how you listen.
1. SOLER: The Body Language Foundation
Developed by Gerard Egan, SOLER focuses on the non-verbal signals that either invite or shut down communication. Your body language speaks before you do.
S – Squarely face the speaker
Turn your body toward the person. Close your laptop. Put your phone face down. Physical orientation signals priority. In a stakeholder meeting, this means closing your email and giving the business partner your full attention.
O – Open posture
Crossed arms create a barrier. An open posture signals receptiveness. This isn’t about being vulnerable. It’s about being available. When someone raises a concern, your posture determines whether they’ll say more or retreat to “everything’s fine.”
L – Lean slightly forward
Leaning in shows engagement. Leaning back signals disinterest or judgment. The difference is subtle but noticeable. In a retrospective, where someone is explaining what went wrong, leaning forward creates space for honest reflection instead of defensive explanations.
E – Eye contact (culturally appropriate)
Eye contact builds connection, but recognize that cultural norms vary. In some cultures, sustained eye contact shows respect. In others, it’s aggressive. Adapt accordingly. The goal is to demonstrate presence, not to follow a rigid script.
R – Relaxed demeanor
Tension creates tension. If you’re fidgeting, checking the time, or visibly impatient, the speaker will shut down. Relax your shoulders. Breathe normally. This creates space for difficult conversations.
SOLER creates the physical conditions for trust. People decide whether you’re genuinely listening based on your body language long before they process your words.
2. RASA: The Listening Process
Created by sound expert Julian Treasure, RASA provides a step-by-step process for how you engage during a conversation.
R – Receive
Give full attention. No multitasking. No mental rehearsal of your response. Just receive what’s being said. This is harder than it sounds. Our instinct is to formulate counterarguments or solutions while someone is still talking. Resist that instinct. The insight you miss while planning your response is often the most important thing they’re trying to share.
A – Appreciate
Use verbal acknowledgments to show you’re tracking. “Mm-hmm.” “I see.” “Got it.” These small signals encourage the speaker to continue. In team discussions, appreciation might sound like “That’s an interesting point” or “I hadn’t considered that angle.” The key is demonstrating active engagement without interrupting the flow.
S – Summarize
Paraphrase what you heard. “So what you’re saying is…” This does two things: it confirms your understanding and gives the speaker a chance to correct any misinterpretation. In Sprint Planning, this might sound like: “Let me make sure I understand the priority for this Sprint. We’re focusing on user authentication first because everything else depends on it, not because it’s the most visible feature. Is that right?”
A – Ask
Clarify with questions. Not leading questions that push your agenda, but genuine questions that deepen understanding. “What led you to that conclusion?” “Can you say more about that?” “What would success look like to you?” These questions demonstrate curiosity and surface information that wouldn’t emerge otherwise.
RASA turns listening from a passive state into an active practice. It’s particularly valuable in situations where understanding someone’s full context matters more than immediately having an answer. Planning sessions, conflict resolution, and strategic discussions all benefit when teams practice RASA together.
3. Three Levels of Listening: The Self-Awareness Check
From the Co-Active Training Institute, this framework helps you recognize where your attention actually is during a conversation.
Level 1: Internal Listening
Your attention is on yourself. Your own thoughts, judgments, agenda, or what you’ll say next. This is not active listening. It’s waiting to talk.
Most of us operate here more than we’d like to admit. You’re in Level 1 when you’re mentally drafting your response or comparing their experience to your own. In a team discussion, Level 1 sounds like: “That reminds me of when I…” or “We tried that before and…”
Level 1 isn’t inherently bad. It has its place in casual conversation. The problem emerges when it becomes your default mode, especially in moments that matter for team dynamics.
Level 2: Focused Listening
Your attention is fully on the other person’s words and meaning. You’re curious about their perspective. Your internal dialogue quiets down.
This is where active listening begins. You’re processing what they’re saying on their terms, not yours. In a requirements discussion, Level 2 means asking “What problem are you trying to solve?” rather than immediately proposing solutions. You’re seeking to understand their context before offering input.
Level 2 listening is where most productive team conversations should happen. It creates space for genuine exchange of ideas rather than competing monologues.
Level 3: Global Listening
You’re attuned to body language, tone, energy, and what’s not being said. You notice the pause before they answered. The shift in energy when a certain topic comes up. The words they choose and the ones they avoid.
Level 3 listening picks up on the subtext that drives team dynamics. When a usually vocal team member has gone quiet for three meetings, you notice. When someone says “that should work” with a slight hesitation instead of “that will work” with confidence, you hear the difference. When a stakeholder says “yes, let’s proceed” but their shoulders drop, you recognize the unspoken reservation.
This level of listening helps you understand not just what people are saying, but what matters to them and what might be at stake. It’s where you pick up on team tensions before they become conflicts, on misalignment before it becomes entrenched, on concerns before they become resentments.
The goal isn’t to live in Level 3 at all times. That would be exhausting. The goal is to recognize which level you’re in and shift intentionally based on what the conversation requires.
Making This Practical
You’re in a design review. A designer presents their work. Another designer offers critique: “I don’t think this interaction pattern will work for our users.”
Level 1 response: The presenting designer immediately thinks “They always criticize my work” and starts mentally defending their choices. Their jaw tightens. They’re not hearing the actual feedback, they’re preparing their rebuttal.
Level 2 response: The presenting designer focuses on understanding the concern. They ask: “What specifically worries you about this pattern?” They summarize: “So you’re concerned that users might not understand this is clickable because we’re not using the standard button styling. Is that the core issue?” The conversation shifts from defense to problem-solving.
Level 3 response: The presenting designer notices this is the third time this pattern of critique has emerged between them and this colleague. They recognize there might be a bigger dynamic at play. After addressing the specific feedback, they might say: “I’m noticing we often see these interactions differently. Would it help to align on our design principles before the next review?” They’re addressing both the immediate issue and the underlying team dynamic.
The difference in outcomes is significant. Level 1 creates friction and defensive standoffs. Level 2 solves the immediate problem. Level 3 strengthens the team’s ability to work together going forward.
The Bottom Line
Active listening isn’t passive. It requires conscious effort, intentional practice, and a willingness to prioritize understanding over being understood.
This capability compounds. Teams that listen well to each other navigate conflict more productively, make better decisions together, and build psychological safety that allows them to tackle difficult problems. The result is stronger, more resilient teams that actually enjoy working together.
Active listening is one of several foundational capabilities that enable high-performing product teams. If you’re looking to develop these capabilities more systematically, our Building High-Performing Teams workshop teaches these listening techniques alongside other team dynamics practices. For Scrum Masters, our Advanced Certified ScrumMaster class also covers these techniques along with facilitation and coaching practices.
